Because GHOSTS.

IMG_0563 Late the other night, alone in the kitchen, The Drama had An Encounter. He claims he saw a shadowy figure flit by in the next room, and says it freaked him out and he backed slowly away and into his room (although he clearly needs to watch more horror movies, because then he will learn that while you are backing away from ONE ghost, three more bloodthirsty ones are RIGHT BEHIND YOU).  He then researched* his experience on that fount of all human wisdom (the Internet), and discovered several useful pieces of information:

1- many people report such encounters

2- it is probably his imagination

3-but it might not be

4- and if it’s not, then it’s probably the antiques

I should explain.  The Canadian and I have recently been collecting antiques**, and there is a sound business/investment reason for this, but it’s not humorous and doesn’t make Leonard drink, so moving on.  Apparently, according to The Drama’s internet research, antiques are a good way to acquire ghosts.

Which just leaves the question of which antique is to blame – because our collection is pretty darn eclectic.  We’ve got some nice Victorian pieces, which I’d assume would carry mostly fairly prim ghosts who wouldn’t enjoy haunting US at ALL (except maybe Jack the Ripper, but what are the chances of that, really?).  We also have a wine and alcohol related collection, including a set of saloon doors and a copper still from France.  Then there’s (among other things) the Japanese tansu dresser and the pirate peg leg.

In fact the only culprit we can rule out for sure is the ghost of Peter***, the taxidermied buffalo head, since The Drama was sure the shadow was human-shaped.

So, a short list of possible haunters include:  Victorians (but probably not Jack the Ripper), drunkards, gun-slingers, French drunkards, samurai, and pirates.

Or if we’re lucky, all of the above.  We could sell tickets for THAT.

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*Reseach as a super power is one of the numerous things The Drama has in common with The Canadian.  Others include (ironically) the intent to haunt me when they are dead (and apparently the intent to die before me), an almost unnatural love for Peter the buffalo head, and the conviction that the movie is always better than the book*

**And thus I WISH my house was as uncluttered as the one in the picture.  It’s not.  The ghost was probably fleeing the premises because there’s really just not the space to do any decent haunting, plus if it stuck around I’d probably ask it to sweep or help with the laundry …….

***Officially named after, and spelled, “PETA”.  Because The Canadian is sick and twisted like that.

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*They are of course WRONG about this, with the exceptions of The Princess Bride, Game of Thrones, and Lord of the Rings (which was a books/movies tie)

 

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