Because what the hell timeline are we in?

There was a moment near the beginning of Terminator Genisys, when John Connor was getting ready to send Kyle Reese back through time, and I thought, wait a minute, have they just done a straight remake of the origin story from a different protaganist’s point of view?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!  Not even close.


There’s Old Arnold fighting Young (Naked) Arnold.  There’s Reese getting hunted by a T-1000 in 1984.  There’s Sarah Connor Kicking Butt with Serious Weaponry WAY ahead of schedule because an Arnold Terminator saved her life in 1973 and then freaking adopted her.  That old song about kung-fu fighting started playing in my head, except it went Everybody was time travel-ing…..

Seriously, if they mess with the timeline any MORE, they’re going to need Doctor Who to sort it out.  Oh, wait, there he is!  Well, Matt Smith as …. Skynet.  I think.

I mean really, are we just going to keep sending terminators back further and further in time to kill or save John Connor’s parents? Grandparents?  Great Grandparents?  Of course now he’s been (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER) turned into the latest greatest terminator killing machine and apparently the new Father of Skynet ….maybe we WANT to.

Whatever.  If you’re looking for a smart movie go see ….. I don’t know, something foreign I guess.  But if you’re happy to swig a couple of beers and go see Arnold (regular and CGI!) blow shit up without worrying about how much sense the plot makes?  Then we’ve got a winner.

Have another drink, Leonard.  Apparently it’s the start of a trilogy……

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